


Lover of Mine

by soarintardis



Category: Doctor Who (2005)
Genre: Confessions, F/F, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, I heard this song and just had to write this okay, Idiots in Love, Love Confessions, Song Lyrics, Songfic, as a treat, it's mostly fluff but there's a bit of angst, ryan is there because I wanted some dyspraxic!ryan rep, we can all cry together
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-07-19
Updated: 2020-07-19
Packaged: 2021-03-04 20:07:48
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,325
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25372132
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/soarintardis/pseuds/soarintardis
Summary: "This song was different, this song her companion had played late at night whilst she did her repairs, and the world stopped when Yasmin Khan began to twirl around the empty control room."
Relationships: Thirteenth Doctor/Yasmin Khan
Comments: 5
Kudos: 30





	Lover of Mine

_Lover of mine_

_Maybe we'll take some time_

_Kaleidoscope mind_

_Gets in the way_

_Hope and I pray_

_Darling, that you will stay_

_Butterfly lies_

_Chase them away_

_Hmm_

Her old, faithful ship stood suspended in space, doors wide open in the early hours of the morning, filling the emptiness with a low buzz and a warm orange glow. It was quiet, except for a melodic hum that came from the timelord as she conducted her nightly tasks. The song had been stuck in her head for days, as if the lyrics were tattooed in her memory and the tune had set up camp in her brain, tucking itself in and not planning on leaving any time soon. She quietly sang to herself as she worked on the console, before grabbing a custard cream and moving to the open TARDIS doors, staring out at the sky in the hopes that she could clear her mind of the words that just kept swirling around her head. She didn’t want to admit it, but they were there because all they were saying was true. Her late nights were already saturated with thoughts of Yaz, now even the girl’s music taste was taking up space. Feeling herself begin to hum the tune once more as she stared out into the dark expanse scattered with stars and nebulas, she gave in.

Slowly traipsing back to the console, the TARDIS wheezed, almost taunting her. “Shut up you!” she whispered indignantly, trying to stay as quiet as possible so as not to wake her fam up, as she flicked some switches and tapped some screens. She triple-checked her volume was at its lowest point so as not to wake anyone up, Yaz in particular. Her room was closest to the control room and - though she loved the nights where her best friend would stay up late and keep her company - she did not think she could ever look the woman in the eye again if she was caught like this, knee-deep in thoughts of her, listening to her favourite love song. With one final look to check Yaz wasn’t padding down the corridor, wrapped up in a blanket with a cup of tea in hand, she heaved a deep sigh and flicked a final switch.

The dulcet tune of the piano swelled within the control room before the intoxicating sound of the guitar crept in, she closed her eyes, spinning around and leaning into the console as she swayed to the beat. She let the vibrations pass through her, letting the song fill her up to the brim, experiencing every single note with her entire soul.

_Dance around the living room_

_Lose me in the sight of you_

_I've seen the red, I've seen the blue_

_Take all of me_

_Lead to where your secrets are_

_Where we've been a thousand times_

_Swallow every single lie_

_Take all of me_

The lonely timelord had always loved music, she had connected with it through all of her lives. It was a consistent companion that had always been there, be it whilst making repairs or just sitting and thinking on the edge of the TARDIS doors, hanging in space. However, she had never connected with a song like this, especially a love song. Though she didn’t want to admit it, she knew exactly why. This song was different, this song her companion had played late at night whilst she did her repairs, and the world stopped when Yasmin Khan began to twirl around the empty control room. The Doctor was entranced, she placed down her wrench and pulled off her goggles, spellbound. It was like the world melted away as Yaz spun round the console room, eyes closed, hair loose and flowing, the music guiding her. She looked so carefree and innocent, soft pyjamas sprinkled with stars covering her small form, as she swayed her arms to the rhythm, her usual late-night cup of tea abandoned on the side. The Doctor had always let Yaz take control of the music queue when she joined her in the late hours, but now all she wanted to do was put this song on repeat and watch her dance, not listening to anything else. She was gorgeous, and the woman couldn’t get enough of her dancing around the room, oblivious to the fact she was being watched by intense, lovesick eyes.

_I'll never give you away_

_'Cause I've already made that mistake_

_If my name never fell off your lips again_

_I know it'd be such a shame_

_When I take a look at my life_

_And all of my crimes_

_You're the only thing that I think I got I right_

_I'll never give you away_

_'Cause I've already made_

_Already made that mistake_

She felt herself slowly beginning to spin, the visual filling her mind, but then the song drew to a close and her eyes snapped open. The sneaky console began to replay the song, the familiar piano filling the TARDIS once more, but it was all too much. She ran to the console and flicked a switch, sending the room into silence. The only sound was the Doctor’s heavy sigh as she rubbed her eyes and subconsciously found the custard cream pedal with her foot. Grabbing a biscuit, she slowly moved back to the doors, almost wanting to cry, she felt so drained. Sensing it’s best friend’s change in mood, the TARDIS slowly opened its doors to the dark expanse it was hanging in with a comforting hum. She flopped down, taking a small bite out of her comfort snack and staring out into the darkness.

She could never tell Yaz how she felt. How she thought she was brilliant, how she lit up the room, how she treasured their nights together in the TARDIS, sitting together in the comfortable silence or talking for hours on end, how she thought she was beautiful, how she was in love with her, utterly and completely. She couldn’t do that, what if something happened? What if she was careless like she had been before and lost her? She couldn’t do that again, not to Yaz, not to herself. The Doctor rarely cried, but tonight, alone in the comfort of the night sky, she let a few tears roll. The fam meant a lot to her but Yaz meant so much more, she’d be completely broken if one of her reckless mistakes caused her to lose the companion she adored most. After all the loss she had been through, Yazmin Khan would be the straw that broke the camel’s back. She sniffled, taking another feeble bite of her biscuit and staring out at the stars, before a voice rang out from the corridor: “Doctor?”

_Lover of mine_

_I know you're colourblind_

_I watched the world fall from your eyes_

_Ooh_

_All my regrets_

_And things you can't forget_

_Light them all up_

_Kiss them goodbye_

Her head whipped back to the staircase, quickly rubbing the tears from her cheeks, a small smile creeping onto her lips as her eyes met a half-asleep Ryan stood at the top of the stairs, mug in hand. “I was getting restless so I went to the kitchen and I was making a cup of tea because I couldn’t sleep and then I was walking an-” he rambled.

“Ryan,” the Doctor whispered softly, knowing that the more tired he got the less he realised he was going off-topic. The boy looked up, caught off guard.

“Yeah?” he was a deer caught in headlights.

“You’ve gone on a dyspraxia rant” she comforted his pyjama-clad form, giggling at his surprised face.

“Oh! Well, basically, I heard what sounded like crying? And I just wanted to check you were okay?” he questioned, slowly making his way down the stairs.

“I’m fine mate, don’t worry about me” the Doctor shook her head, “just thinking is’ all, you can go back to bed” she reassured, giving him a weak smile, Ryan was having none of it.

“Thinking about Yaz yeah?” he smiled cheekily as he moved to sit down, the time lord automatically taking his mug from him so that he didn’t clumsily knock it out into space in the process. As she did so, she made a big show of denying his claims.

“What? No! Whatever could make you think that?” she flustered, avoiding eye contact, as her companion laughed, not believing it for a second.

“I mean, you’re not that subtle mate, very obvious heart eyes” she blushed furiously, eyes wide and staring at Ryan. If he knew, could Yaz – “oh no, Yaz hasn’t noticed, she’s just as oblivious as you, if not more” he smirked, as if reading her mind.

The tired alien stared back out at the night sky, her shoulders slumping, “Yaz could never like me like that Ryan, don’t get my hopes up” she breathed, finally admitting her feelings out loud. She looked back when she heard Ryan chuckle, confused.

He shook his head, smiling, “Oh mate, you really have no idea, do you? The girl is head over heels for you, don’t act like you don’t catch her staring” he sleepily snickered, sipping his tea with a twinkle in his eye. She considered it for a moment, maybe all those moments weren’t in her head.

“So, say that she does, I can’t risk losing her!” she exclaims, the worry clouding her eyes, arms flailing with frustration.

“Do you really think she cares about that? You’re the best person she’s ever met. All of us knew the risks of travelling with you from the start, and we’re all still here, she’s still here. She’s always the first by your side. C’mon Doctor, if I can see it, you should be able to.” he stressed, rubbing her arm comfortingly.

She considered what he’d said, mulling it over, she wasn’t too sure, until the TARDIS hummed a few familiar notes, giving her an idea. The Doctor turned to her companion, a new energy overtaking her, an excited grin painted on her face, “Right, so there’s this song…”.

_Dance around the living room_

_Lose me in the sight of you_

_I've seen the red, I've seen the blue_

_Take all of me_

_Lead to where your secrets are_

_Where we've been a thousand times_

_Swallow every single lie_

_Take all of me_

It was a few nights after she’d sat with Ryan in the TARDIS doors. Since then, she’d dug through an old storage cupboard for her beloved bass, tuning it up and fixing up the amp in the quiet of the early hours. Ryan had taught her how to use YouTube before he’d gone back to bed and now she had a guitar tutorial for Yasmin Khan’s favourite love song softly playing from one of the TARDIS hologram screens as she strummed the notes slowly, picking up the melody more and more with each replay. She played and played into the night, practising over and over until she got it perfect. It had to be perfect, for Yaz.

A few nights later, she finally cracked it. Her fingers masterfully plucked at the strings, finally nailing the repetitive set of notes at the correct tempo. She smiled and adjusted her guitar strap, ready to confidently play it all the way through. Her eyes fluttered shut and she took a deep breath in before starting the strum the melody, her quiet singing voice floating into the room. As the song progressed, she became more assured of herself, and began to sway, getting more into the song, a smile appearing on her features. She sang every word as if Yaz was in the room with her, all of the emotions she’d ever felt towards her companion spilling out of her, into the lyrics she performed to an empty room, unaware of a quiet figure watching intently.

_I'll never give you away_

_'Cause I've already made that mistake_

_If my name never fell off your lips again_

_I know it'd be such a shame_

_When I take a look at my life_

_And all of my crimes_

_You're the only thing that I think I got I right_

_I'll never give you away_

_'Cause I've already made_

_Already made that mistake_

Unbeknownst to the singing timelord, Yaz had silently shuffled into the room just as she had begun to strum the opening melody. As always, the girl slowly walked down the stairs with a mug in hand - this time staring at her with intense curiosity and affection - before she quietly set her tea down on the console and leaned against it, watching, listening, a smile growing on her face.

The Doctor finished her performance, breathing a deep sigh and opening her eyes, looking down at the ground as she pulled off her guitar strap and laid the guitar against one of the control room walls “right then, perhaps a snack,” she hummed, before stopping at the sound of a giggle. Slowly turning around, her eyes met those of the woman she was not quite ready to see just yet. “Yazmin Khan, how long have you been stood there?” she gulped.

“Not long, just after you started playing actually,” she whispered as she stood up, taking a hesitant step towards her best friend.

“O-oh! D-did you like the song?” the timelord fumbled, putting her hands in her pockets in an attempt to act calm. The air was thick between them, eyes locked on each other.

“I did, actually, yeah. I loved it.” Yaz spoke, tentatively stepping forward, a new sense of confidence overcoming her as she watched her flustered counterpart do the same. The world was slowly melting away with each step.

“M-maybe I could play it for you again if you want?” the Doctor tested the waters, she had hopes for where this might go but she still wasn’t certain. She took another step forward.

Yaz stepped forward too, “Can I kiss you before you do?”.

**Author's Note:**

> Ahhhhh okay okay this fic is based on the song 'Lover of Mine' by 5SOS! It's one of my absolute favourites and after properly listening to the lyrics, I just had to write a oneshot surrounding it. I highly recommend, here's a link if you've never heard it before: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iTQjrThcY6o
> 
> I hope you all enjoyed! Though I procrastinated a lot I had a lot of fun with this


End file.
